Meh about Sex? The 4 reasons why you’re not in the mood
I often hear many women complaining about not feeling “in the mood”. They express shame and guilt for not being as sexually aroused as their partner. As women, I think it’s important to have these conversations, get to know our bodies and what is really going on.
There are 4 main reasons you may be feeling undesirable in the sex department
Number One - The phase of your cycle.
As women we know that we have different stages of our cycle. Depending on how much you have been educated (for many women, it’s not a lot), you may or may not know that there are 4 stages to your cycle. Menstrual, Follicular, Ovulatory, and Luteal. We go through these four phases every month. Now, without going too much into this topic, more on that another time, you won’t feel “in the mood” in every stage of your cycle. and you’re not meant to. During your ovulation phase is when you will feel most sexy and turned on.
Action: start tracking your cycle, know when you’re ovulating and jump on that sexy high!
Number Two - Stress
Stress is always the culprit of everything right? I know it is in my life. When you’re stressed, your body uses all of its resources to defend itself and stay safe. The body does not care about making babies when there is a stressor or a threat. The body wants to keep its resources to be able to mobilize away from the attack or to fight the predator. This results in turning off the sexy meter and you no longer feeling in the mood.
Action: reduce the stress in your life and you’ll get that turned on feeling back!
Number Three - Adrenal Glands
If you’ve been in stress mode for far too long you may have placed too great a burden on your adrenal glands. The adrenals, small glands located on top of your kidneys, produce the stress hormone cortisol in response to stress. Cortisol helps the body respond to stress. Too much stress for too long can cause these glands to no longer be able to keep up with the bodies demands (aka your adrenals are tired). With tired adrenals, you’ll feel fatigued, have trouble sleeping, experience mood swings, & more. When the body is in this state off exhaustion, that sexy meter is completely bottomed out.
Action: support your adrenal glands with B vitamins, vitamin C, zinc, and magnesium.
Number Four - Your Feminine Energy
This is the one I’m still in the process of learning. Every human on this planet has both masculine and feminine energies. Both are necessary both are important to have in balance. Where we get stuck as women, is when we have been forced to live in the masculine for too long and we lose access to our feminine. The masculine looks like controlling, being in charge, making all of the decisions, etc. The feminine energy is the receiving energy (think how the sexual organs are designed, the women body is designed to receive). If you’ve lost access to this feminine energy, the ability to sit back and receive, you won’t be able or want to receive that from your partner (heterosexual or not).
Action: Reflect on these questions: What if you let go of control? Where can you let your partner take the lead? Where can you let them be in charge and let yourself be taken care of? How can you open your self up to receive?
At this point you’ve learned why your desire for sex is diminished and have 4 action steps to take to start feeling in the mood again. Now is your time to apply these actions to your life, to get yourself into that sexy mood (especially in your ovulatory phase)
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